


Sharks and Platypi

by BecMcc



Category: Free!
Genre: Crack Fic, Gen, Watching cartoons, kinda OOC, written at the spurr of the moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 22:58:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1665611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BecMcc/pseuds/BecMcc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Platypi become the topic of conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sharks and Platypi

“How is that man still alive?” Rin asked, Makoto, Haruka and Makoto’s siblings turned to him after watching an episode of Phineas and Ferb. “I mean episode after episode “Dr.” Doofenschmirtz gets the craps beaten out of him by a fucking platypus-”

“Rin!” Makoto scolded when Rin swore.

“Darn platypus.” Rin corrected.

“He got beaten up by a potted plant one time.” Ran pointed out.

“Yeah and that plant managed to join the O.W.C.A.” Ren continued.

“How do you manage that?” Rin questioned.

“It’s an American cartoon, don’t question it.” Haruka muttered.

“Anyway, he got kicked in the face at least a few times and a lot of his sh- … stuff blows up constantly usually through a self destruct button that he always puts on his machines that almost always gets pressed and sometimes his fragging apartment explodes with the rest of his junk!” Rin ranted trying to avoid swearing in front of Makoto’s siblings.

“It’s an American cartoon.” Haruka repeated. “Main characters don’t die in those.”

“That’s a bit of a stretch Haru.” Makoto said with a giggle he then looked over to Rin. “Why are so curious about a man getting the beat up by platypus that he might have feelings for?”

“Because male platypi have poisonous barbs on their hind legs that’s not really deadly but will make you wish you were dead as you spend a few weeks in the hospital!”

“Really?” Questioned the twins in unison.

“Yeah the pain is so bad that morphine doesn’t work!” Rin claimed, Makoto started to look uncomfortable. “Now that I think about it how are the boys able to keep a platypus as a pet?”

“Well … maybe he got his barbs removed.” Makoto suggested.

“That never happened there was an episode that shows that Perry does have those barbs.” Ren pointed out.

“Wait when was this?” Makoto asked.

“The episode there Perry was getting hunted by a platypus hunter.” Explained Ran.

“I don’t think I saw that one.” Said Makoto.

“Why do you know so much about platypi?” Haruka asked Rin.

“It’s Australia.” Rin stated, “You need to know what to stay away from while there. If an animal there can’t break your ribs then it’s gonna have poison! Plus I uh … knew a guy who got stung by a platypus.” Haruka glared at him. “What?” Makoto looked over to him, he stared at his friend for a few moments.

“He thinks you’re lying.” Said Makoto.

“What? Why would I lie about something like that? I mean it’s not like platypi are dangerous or anything.” Then Rin’s speech turned into gibberish that wasn’t recognizable in any language.

“Rin are you okay?” Makoto asked.

“N-yeah I’m fine totally fine. Fine fine fine!” He said, Haruka and Makoto looked over to each other, the latter seemed nervous. This was the first time they saw their friend as nonsense spewing mess and they weren’t sure what to make of it. Then Rin quickly said “I’m scared of platypi.” The twins snorted trying to stifle their laughter while the other two stared at Rin, Haru’s expression remained calm while Makoto’s eye’s widened and his mouth dropped.

“What?” Makoto asked.

“When I was in Australia I got stung by a platypus.” Rin admitted. “I was trying to look cool to some classmates so I tried to pick up a platypus and it kicked me.”

“Wow.” Haru said flatly.

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on a weird headcanon I have that Rin is secretly afraid of Platypi due to accidentally getting stung by one in Australia. Also how he managed to find a platypus and get stung by one would be his own fault.


End file.
